by Sheila Oliva, OLLI member since 2021 and member of OLLI Writers Group.

Travel has always been my goal. Since I was quite small, I have been fascinated with places other than the one I lived in. As an adult, we all quickly learn the necessity of living on a budget. What you make at your given job must cover the basics like shelter, food, and clothing, but I quickly prioritized trips and travel over fancy cars or expensive clothes. Whether it was a quick weekend road trip, or saving two years for my first trip to Italy, “where to next?” was always top of my mind. A complete game-changer for me was when I realized I did not have to save tons of money, navigate airports or currency exchanges to “visit” lands from far away!

This realization came when a friend of mine at a German-based company I worked for asked if her 20-year old daughter could come stay with us for six weeks to work on her English. I accepted. That was in 2008, and today that 20 year old is married, working in an exciting job in Frankfurt, Germany, and expecting her first child. Our friendship has continued all these years, and we use the marvel of technology to continue to grow our friendship and educate each other on the very different lives we live in different countries.

She also started my new “hobby.” Since 2008, we have hosted two high school students – one from Italy and one from Germany – for one year each in the U.S. We have guided them through attending high school in America, while they have given us insight into life in their origin countries. 

Recently OLLI helped to feed my need for this sort of cultural exchange with their “Conversations and Coffee” program. This program simply pairs international graduate students at NC State and OLLI members, with the sole purpose of helping those students work on their conversational English. International students obviously must have a certain level of English to be accepted into NC State but, often when they get here, they only hear and speak English in their classes. This not only robs them of getting a broader vocabulary and dynamic fluency with the language, but they miss out on important cultural lessons too.

And, so I eagerly signed up and was paired with Soeun Jo, or “Jo” as she insists “everyone” calls her. A graduate student from South Korea, Jo is a member of her country’s military and is learning computer science. Our first meeting was low pressure and Covid conscious, as we met for coffee at the Starbucks near Talley. We were treated to a beautiful day outside to sip our drinks and get to know each other. Probably my favorite thing Jo told me that day was how much she loved the color of the North Carolina sky. I mean, I know it’s beautiful and that we are somewhat known for this aesthetic, but to hear someone from halfway around the world give that as one of her first impressions of our little corner of the world really made me smile. And, once again, I was hooked. Hooked to hear more, learn more, and share more with this personal ambassador of Korean culture that NC State and OLLI had gifted me with.

Our friendship has grown over these months. From coffee to brunch to lunch to Korean BBQ dinner to a beer one night at Morgan Street food hall. It is truly addicting to have someone to show around. To get to brag about your little city and all it has to offer; to hear feedback about the “cool” things in Raleigh, and also be awed about how the things we take for granted do not exist elsewhere in the world is just fun. There are small lessons you learn, such as how laying a napkin on your lap before you eat is not something that is done in Korea. Or, how a simple invite to Thanksgiving gives her a uniquely American experience and allows you to appreciate the holiday more as you explain it to someone who has never heard of it before. Surprising moments of wonder. 

Other benefits include the ability to take a break from the negative in our lives. For example, in our politically polarized country, having a conversation about politics in her country, where there was an election this year, can feel downright relaxing.

Further soul nourishment comes from caring for others. Most of us are parents, and we always secretly hope for the kindness of strangers should our children, who are no longer under our roof, need it. While Jo may be a grown, 30-year old woman serving in the military, she still has parents in Korea who are desperately nervous for her. Is she ok? Is she safe? Is she eating well, sleeping well, and staying healthy? How are her classes going? Has she made any friends? And so on. 

As a parent, I have always placed an abundance of value in a home-cooked meal. And, we have sprinkled our conversations with food. For her part, Jo is also quite a good cook, which she illustrated with the delicious beef bulgogi she made for me and my family to enjoy. And, my husband – a first-generation Italian – knows his way around the kitchen even better than I. First, he dazzled Jo with his Thanksgiving turkey and then his homemade spaghetti sauce. Both meals nourished the body and the soul and expanded her family and ours. Because isn’t that where families are made – around the dinner table?

 So as the school year winds down, what has this OLLI program delivered? Well, Jo’s English and understanding of the U.S. are markedly improved, and I’ve visited Korea several times without having to save any money for a trip!